Monthly Archives: February 2012

Experiential Report: Transit Pluto Conjunct Natal Neptune

Prelude: To all astrologers who claim that the above mentioned transit is “insignificant” and that its impacts are rather “subtle” and “impalpable”… I’d like to give A Big Fat Double Cheesy Mac Middlefinger.

I’ve experienced the last progression of this transit during the past summer (I’m not fully but almost done with the last of 3 degrees orbis) and it’s been nothing less than a ride on an emotional rollercoaster, without seatbelts. What officially happened back then is documented in the article “Knockdown”.
Long story short, my sister rebuilt a part of the house she inherited and I was financially and emotionally very involved. (She had her first return of Saturn at that point in time, in the 8th house – that connection is obvious, I think).

But that was only one of three progressions, and each of them hit me.

HIT ME.

Not like a slap in the face. Rather like noticing that I’d been free falling… in the very moment when I hit rock bottom. But hey, that’s what Neptune is known for. It veils the most obvious things.

Note: NEVER EVER make life decisions when your natal Neptune is affected by a transit. You’ll feel great while doing it – but you’ll regret it as soon as the veil falls.

Neptune is in my 5th house, by the way. It is the house of pleasure and life force, of childhood and children, close friends and love affairs. Basically all of these topics have been affected by the transit.

My daughter started with kindergarten. I lost my best male friend by pairing him off with a psychopath (FELT great – WAS wrong, as mentioned before). My best female friend is still with me (Thank God!!) but she also found someone, and she’s really busy trying to have babies now.

I will withstand the temptation to go into deeper detail about my own romantic life.
Just let me put down one painful truth I learned during the transit – which now doesn’t feel painful any longer, because Neptune, after all, is a healer too.

***

Romance is like a beautiful day in autumn.
You are foolish if you demand it to persist, because indeed, it is a gift.
It is neither granted to you nor to anyone at all.

The only safe place in the world is in your heart, in your soul,
and when everything falls apart, you will notice that.

Love is not about reaching a “safe haven”.
Not about sharing a bed with someone. Not even about sharing a life with someone.
It’s not about harmony. Damn well, it’s not about harmony.

I’ve seen my parents secretly admitting that they still love one another after 20 years of divorce.
Beyond all the fights an injuries, beyond the separation and the obvious failure… this overwhelming force is making it all look so miniscule.

There is no escape.
There will always be this one love so much greater than you.

It will mock at the life plans you make with your tiny little intellect.
Mock at your attempts of sugarcoating something that for sure isn’t love.
Mock at YOU if you put anything above it.

So forget about safety, forget about promises, forget about calculation.
Love finds you, inevitably.

***

Having understood this, and fully indulging in that understanding, I need to ass-kick myself to do more coding again right now. 🙂